What can you do when you observed several signs of a cheating spouse but you still want solid evidence of an affair before you confront your partner about it? For when a bunch of red flags and a gut feeling are simply not enough; there are a few options that you may undertake, some on your own and some with the help of a professional, to get the information that confirms or refutes your suspicions.
While snooping around your partner’s phone, installing hidden cameras and GPS units may be good sources of information, they are not only unethical but can also be illegal and violate privacy rights under certain circumstances. For this reason, they are not the recommended methods to start looking for evidence unless you consulted a lawyer and are familiar with privacy and evidence laws in your area.
The tricks below are effective and most importantly, legal alternatives to find the information you need:
If you own or share a computer or laptop with the suspected cheating spouse check the “auto-fill” feature in the search engine. While clearing browsing history and cookies in the browser is pretty common and most likely to be done by a cheating partner; clearing the auto-fill and suggested searches is often overlooked. Start typing every letter of the alphabet in the search bar to see what past and/or suggested searches pop up.
Even if the cheating spouse cleared browsing history or cookies and even some of the search queries, they are very likely to miss the misspelled searches: if they wanted to look up a service such as Ashley Madison, for example, and accidentally misspelled it and entered “Ashly Madson” in the search engine, chances are that they forgot to remove the misspelled version of their search (which will still give you a clear indication of their intentions).
Side note on GPS units and hidden cameras: While it is legal to install GPS and cameras in your own vehicle and your own home, the situation becomes more complicated when other people are involved. When a vehicle and a house are shared, which is usually the case for married couples, both parties have an expectation of privacy (for when they are alone for example) and thus; unless both parties are aware and agree on the use of the surveillance equipment (which defeats the whole purpose in the cheating spouse scenario), chances are that you may violate privacy laws and get into legal trouble if you use those devices without your partner’s knowledge or consent.
A good alternative to installing a GPS unit is using the “find my phone” feature that is available on most devices; assuming, of course, that those features weren’t purposefully disabled by the cheating spouse to avoid being located. If your spouse has an IPhone with the “find my phone feature” turned on and location sharing enabled, you can try to locate the device by logging into iCloud. Similarly, if your partner has an Android phone and has a Google account (that is shared on your computer), you can type “Find My Phone” into the search bar, and you’ll be provided with the location and the time that the device in question was at a particular location.
If you own or share a computer or laptop with the suspected cheating spouse you may be able to retrieve deleted files (in infidelity cases it is often pictures that were shared) from a hard drive. Even formatted hard drives often contain bits of information that are possible to recover using specialized software. If you suspect that your hard drive had incriminating evidence that was deleted by your partner, you may want to engage the services of a data recovery specialist.
If you need or have a desire to see photographic or video evidence of an affair, the tried and tested method of conducting actual surveillance by a trained professional is the best way to proceed. A Private Investigator will be able to find out where your spouse is going, who they are meeting and what they are doing; and provide irrefutable evidence of infidelity.
It is important to note that catching a cheating spouse in the act is extremely unlikely (unless of course they publicly display their affection in a place where they have no expectation of privacy) but having evidence of them meeting someone else in a hotel or a restaurant while holding hands, for example, is as close to any proof of the actual act of cheating that you can expect to obtain if you want to (and you always should) act in a lawful manner.