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HOW CHEATING SPOUSES
TRY TO AVOID BEING CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Keeping an affair a secret requires a lot of effort, and even the most seasoned cheaters won’t be able to cover up their infidelity without leaving some clues behind. Nevertheless, adulterers come up with some clever ways to keep their secrets under wraps and employ a number of excuses and techniques in order to deceive their spouses and the investigators hired to catch them in the act.

Nothing arouses suspicion or heightens the other spouse’s interest more than a change in their partner’s daily routine. A sudden deviation from their usual work hours or exercise habits will spark curiosity, from the faithful partner, which a cheating spouse wants to avoid. Hence, they will try to hide actions or situations that draw unwanted attention by coming up with plausible and legitimate-sounding excuses to justify changes in their behavior and their increased absence from home.

Illicit Encounters, a dating site for people already in relationships, surveyed 2000 of its users to determine the most popular excuses used by cheaters, and identified the following top alibis used by men and women:

MEN’S TOP TEN ALIBIS: 

  1. Watching football
  2. Playing golf
  3. Working late in the office
  4. Socializing after work
  5. Boys night out
  6. Walking the dog
  7. Going to the gym
  8. Playing sports
  9. Meeting best friend
  10. Seeing relatives

WOMEN’S TOP TEN ALIBIS: 

  1. Going to the gym
  2. A night out with the girls
  3. Working late in the office
  4. Socializing after work
  5. Walking the dog
  6. Shopping
  7. Seeing relatives
  8. Meeting best friend
  9. Gone for a beauty treatment
  10. Playing sports

Going to the gym, working late, and spending time with friends are among the most common excuses used by both sexes to create believable alibis. A gym is especially popular since not only it helps maintain a good physical image and improve one’s physique (which is important when attracting a new mate), but it also provides a reasonable excuse for being away from home for a couple of hours.

Equally important is the fact that a gym can be another place where the cheater can keep a change of clothes, makeup kit, cologne, and everything else they need to get ready for a secret date. Additionally, it’s a place where they can take a shower and conceal signs of an affair after a date without arising too much suspicion as to why they come back home all fresh and in a different set of clothes.

Working late is another popular and extremely believable alibi that cheaters use. In difficult economic times, it is reasonable to expect a spouse to pick up a few extra hours at work. Also, if they have a “difficult” boss, having to stay late to meet another tight deadline is a legitimate reason for being away from home.

Additionally, business-related trips, corporate dinners, and weekend teambuilding exercises are all believable enough excuses that allow for a prolonged absence from home, and can easily be told to one’s partner with little to no chance for the said partner to verify them.

To take things even further, numerous services exist that will create alibis for cheating spouses for a fee. Ranging from individuals advertising simple phone answering services in classifieds to full-blown agencies that provide elaborate cover stories; a hired fake secretary or a friend are only a phone call away to help cheaters maintain their lies about a business meeting or a social outing and hide their affairs while easing the suspicions of their spouses.

Spouses are not the only people adulterers try to deceive. When a cheater suspects that their partner may have hired a Private Investigator to follow them, they may try to take additional precautions when they get ready for their dates and try to execute counter-surveillance maneuvers in order to “lose tail” and escape surveillance.

In those situations, the investigator needs to be familiar with the most popularly portrayed counter-surveillance methods from movies and TV series. While their real-world effectiveness is questionable at best, those are the techniques that a person not trained in professional surveillance evasion manoeuvers will most likely resort to.

For this reason, the most common things Private Investigators see people do in order to lose surveillance are:

ON FOOT:

  1. Sudden stops and/or change in direction
  2. Increasing their pace and turning the corner (to see if someone is flowing them)
  3. Going to public places (in order to get lost in the crowd)
  4. Jumping in or out of public transport just before the doors open or close
  5. Entering an office building or a store, then turning around to exit right away

IN A VEHICLE:

  1. Running yellow and red lights
  2. Making four right turns around the block
  3. Going to dead-end streets
  4. Making two consecutive U-turns
  5. Going too slow (below the speed limit)
  6. Going too fast (above the speed limit)
  7. Taking last minute exists and sudden lane changes

When not executed properly, those techniques can be dangerous and even illegal. They are also easily spotted by a trained professional and thus are not very effective. Nevertheless, they still create another barrier of precautions that an investigator must deal with in order to conduct surveillance and get evidence of infidelity.

Every affair is a process with several stages that require a cheater to hide: their interest in being with someone else; their communication with the other person; their preparations for an upcoming date; the meeting location of the date and the signs that they went on a date.

To succeed in those stages, the unfaithful partner may try to cover their tracks by using a variety of excuses to throw off any suspicions and avoid detection. Only their creativity is the limit, which increases the challenge of obtaining evidence of adultery; especially when technology and entire businesses exist with the sole purpose of facilitating such acts.

When those resources are combined with a determined individual who will do everything possible to hide their affair, an experienced Private Investigator, with knowledge and understanding of such cases, could be the only way of getting closure and finding answers.

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